This afternoon i went to visit my grandma who was hospitalized last week. Apparently she hasn't eat for a few days and thus was admitted. I had not seen her for many many years already. I can't even remember when was the last family gathering. I was either at work or study or other things. When i heard she was admitted last weekend, i had this urge to go down and visit her. But for some reasons, my mom didn't allow me. She refused no matter how hard i budged her... until today we finally went down. I also asked that I like to pray for her and mom agreed without any violent objections.

I thought I would be like a normal person - normal meaning to see her without any longing feelings or feeling of sadness when I see her because I wasn't very close to her.

When i saw stepped in the room, i was greeted by a very thin and fragile old lady (pictured the gollum in the LOTR) ... i almost couldn't recognized her! My grandma lost so much so much weight! My heart flipped and i cringed when i held her hand. Her two hands bloated so much due to the injections and drip.

Due to alzheimer, she couldn't remember me and mom. I chatted with her for a while with a mix of mandarine and broken cantonese. I can see she is happy to see her own family visiting her. I have heard many nasty stories about how she biased she was towards her children and particularly dislike my mom and a few aunties the most. But watching how my mom showered her the love and patience despite the mistreat that my grandma in the past just make me marvel and respect my mom even more.

As for me, i was always upset about how my grandma treated my mom and i just can't felt feeling so unfair and bitterness. But today everything changed. My mom's love had dissolved that kind of hatred and bitterness not only in my grandma's heart but also in me as well.

I had hold back... I didn't managed to share the gospel. I had wanted to do that but the nurse that my grandma had hired told us how the other nurse had tried to evangelize to my grandma. ( my grandma got 3 private nurses and 2 maids) and how one of the nurse who is a christian had actually wheeled my grandma out and brought her to church!

I was quite surprised to hear that. I feel that it was a very dangerous thing! What if my grandma got hurt when she is outside? For a brief walk yes, but to a church? And without my grandma knowing?! If you had wanted to evangelize, you can do it anywhere! You don't have to bring her to church! And guess what? That created more uproar and disapproval in the family. I can finally understand why I wasn't allowed to go and visit her at first.

But I did pray for her eventually before I left. I know God is watching her.

After we left, many thoughts just come into my mind. Life is so fragile. I looked at my mom and soon my mom will be preparing for a 1 year dental treatment process soon. I just can't help but to think if my family especially my parents are not going to recieve salvation. What is going to happen? I was reminded that one of the cell member's mom had recieve Christ. God is faithful isn't He?