It had been almost 1 month since i left my job. Many wondered how i am coping. Am i enjoying my life? most friends called me up and saying you must be free now... can we meet for a lunch or dinner or supper or shopping? hmmm as i look at things around me i still think i am busy. Sometimes i wonder what i am busy with...
I finally able to work on full time on the business that i had started with Keegan 2 years ago. It wasn't easy. I faced alot of setbacks and i think many times i wish i could give up and just enjoyed life and work. But after working for a few months, i knew that wasn't something that I was looking for.
I could remember every single failure that I did for the past 2 years. Countless... I lost projects, I made clients unhappy, i made my partner unhappy, i made myself unhappy. i made everyone around me unhappy.
Around this year Jan/Feb, I started to question what was my goal and where was my motivation? Why am i working so hard every night till 2 am working in a dark and getting countless scoldings from my poor sister who is sleeping and had to endure my intense noisy typings? ( * i had since changed to a quieter keyboard)
Slowly i detest what i was doing... i hated it. i hated programming. i hated designing. i think i almost went into depression. i hate what i was doing.. i just hate COMPUTERS!
i just cried to keegan. Is too hard. is way too hard.. i want to give up.. i want to GIVE UP! or at least he agrees to pull out of the project and i will do this alone. and i just do whatever i want...
What happen in the end..
After a few days... he told me ...let's re-evaluate our goals, missions and motivation. Why did we started this?
God. That was my answer. Maybe it sound strange/weird/puzzling to some of u ...
When i was in poly, i always wanted to do a website. I had no talents in leading word, no talents in evangelizing, no music talents to play for the Lord, seem to have nothing good to offer to the Lord... . That was when i thought of creating christian website as a offering to God. A Christian Youth website that targets the whole singapore. To reach out and to bring them closer to God. That had always been my dream.
I lack of skills agian... i don't how to do a good website. -_-"
I nv created this dream...somehow...
Keegan had a similar thought.. he also wanted to do something .. for the Lord. He want to run a business (anything). He was very inspired by his fellow bro-in christ who was runing a biz on his own with other christians and how they managed to work and grow and yet at the same time able to contribute their time to serve in the ministry.
When we came together 2 years ago to discuss this: we were very very excited about this mini work. A work when we prayed about it that we can use to glorify God. Business built on the foundation of christian values. We have visions that we can reach out to the youths who will work in the company with us.. and not spent time outside idling around.
That was our visions.
It picked me up again and we continued to move on.
We named our business PH. Some asked me.. why this name?
Hub as we all know means to connect several computers together. We connects you know... haha
Polaris... it also means North Star. What so special about this star?
-Used as a navigation aid and to chart navigational maps (God gives direction eh.. and God also asked us to be the light and salt of the world. Gives the youths or anyone non christians a good testimony)
-Our Creator created the stars. I was reminded in Psalms 8:3 "When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place."
Lastly, this verse further enhanced my faith.
Shining as Stars - Phil 2 : 12 -18
Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.
God always sent pple in and teaches me and guide me.. i am ever thankful. At the end of the day the business may work out.. or may not work out. But at least I tried. Keegan tried. We both tried =)
7 cheers for God :)