Blessings of the day : I think I had the most patient instructor on the earth. Amen :)Today was my driving test. For the past 1 week or rather 1 month it was an intensive month of driving lessons on the road. It was also the only month I've entered into circuit for the first time.
I had to admit for the past 1 week, I couldn't sleep well. I was jittery, nervous and anxious. Everyday right after my lesson, I would call Kg almost immediately after I stepped out of the car and "report" all my mistakes and funny stories on the road. Kg was patient while taking the excuse from work to run to the toilet to hear me rant.
When was the last time I felt so nervous? I don't even recall I was THAT NERVOUS for my O levels exams. Neither was I nervous for my first story telling competition in primary school. (Ok that was irrelevant)
Everyday without fail this week, my body would start up the engine at 6am and start to get jittery again. Every circuit lesson I entered, I would either do well in parallel parking and mess up in vertical parking or roll off the slope and mount curb on the crank course.
It was soooo pressurizing! Every day for the past 1 week I would have "funny" and interesting stories to share with my family.
Day 1: 100+ demerit points + 5 immediate failures
Day 2: 50+ demerit points
Day 3: x number of demerit points + 3 immediate failures
Day 4: No strength to pull handbrake anymore and must use 2 hands. Left leg shake like mad turn numb and both hands - sweaty palms.
Last day or today. I can't be bothered anymore. Enough of worries! Enough of anxiety! That's it!
Morning 11.30am I met my instructor. I asked him how did the student fare before me. She took her test in the morning. He said: "Strike pole mount curb at parallel parking ~ immediate failure @ first pit stop"
*gulp* I told myself I can do it better!
Once in the circuit, it was much better than the past 4 days. My instructor also tried his best to encourage me and not let me felt nervous. I looked cool on the outside but inside I was screaming like mad *why did i even do this?!*
I messed up in crank course again. Mount twice and triple I remembered. I strike curb, forgot to check blind spot, never stop before the white line. I told myself again "I can do better!
Finally i spotted the fuel tank was @ E and my instructor told me to get a quick lunch while he ran off to top up the tank. I sat at the coffeeshop staring @ the chicken rice and my hands were still shaking.
*Sigh* I must have looked really pathetic.
Then I told myself, i need to do something about it! Then i flipped to my e-bible and read the following verses to myself over and over again. Remember the withered fig tree and Jesus was sharing about faith?
Matthew 21:19-21 (Contemporary English Version)
19and along the way he saw a fig tree. But when he came to it, he found only leaves and no figs. So he told the tree, "You will never again grow any fruit!" Right then the fig tree dried up.
20The disciples were shocked when they saw how quickly the tree had dried up. 21But Jesus said to them, "If you have faith and don't doubt, I promise that you can do what I did to this tree. And you will be able to do even more. You can tell this mountain to get up and jump into the sea, and it will.
To me i was reading like this already:
But Jesus said to them, "If you have faith and don't doubt, I promise that you can do what I did to this [insert circuit station example: crank course] . And you will be able to do even more. You can tell [this crank/S course to widen up the road and let you go in and will not mount curb / tell these poles to stay rooted to the ground and dun fall down even if you touched it / tell the parallel parking/vertical parking/directional change to widen the road and I will not strike or mount curb] and it will.
Ok i am that faithful. I really said this while I am in the circuit!
Lo and Behold...
- the poles never fell
- i did not mount curb
- i did not strike curb
- i did not roll off the slope
But .. i still fail. with 40 demerit points. Thank you.
Sigh well, the tester was pretty strict with me. But I had to say he did prepare me and was also quite encouraging in his own ways. I thought I actually learn more during this test. Perhaps my instructor had been pleading me to remember to do the following and I've always "ignored" it and choosing to worry whether the poles were going to collapse.
Safety checks was my biggest killer in the test. I was slow in moving off, road hogging, turn the wheel while the car is in stationary position and many etc.
It was quite an experience this afternoon. I also really felt that I had placed unnecessary pressure on myself for the past 1 week making me so jittery for no good reasons. It was a good experience that I went through. I felt that if today I had passed and gotten the license, perhaps I wouldn't have been humble and would turn pretty overly confident.
As I looked back now, I really found it funny and laugh at the silly mistakes that I committed in the test. I had to admit I was really disappointed but I thought it would had been better to be a skilled driver than a dangerous driver.
haha poles stayed rooted to the ground. hahaha - what a prayer.