25

Blessings of the Day: I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. - Psalm 139:14

I turned 25. Ironically I am not too excited about this. I have to admit that the thought of more loads of responsibilities are falling unto me is beginning to load me abit down. Sometime the more wisdom I asked God to grant me, the more things I discovered that I need to change to become a better child of God. I kind of felt there is unseen pressure on me. As each passing day and moment, I finally understood that is how God is close to me now. I can hear His still small voice. During my days as a younger christian, I often asked, why doesn't God speak to us like how He spoke to Abraham, Moses, King David, King Saul, King Solomon directly. Jesus talking to the apostle Paul, John, Peter and many more. He spoke to these godly people directly face to face. Giving instructions. I often lament if only God would do that, the difficulties in my life will be reduced drastically. I don't have to walk the wrong path.

Colossians 1:9 - 14

9For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. 10And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, 11being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully 12giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. 13For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, 14in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

But however I am so wrong. Even with instructions given, men still makes mistakes. I often wonder why are these people so funny, ABC instructions lay before you, you still do the wrong things. Seriously, I wondered why. Since the JAP accountability group started 2 years back, part of our structure accountability is to do QT 3 times a week. With the book I read 3 years ago, I applied the mecury QT timechart in it to help Weiggy and Jem and myself too. By God's grace, I was able to spend at least 10 mins each day to read His word. By God's grace, my fellow sisters were making remarkable results too. Seeing one another desire to read God's word earnstly and faithfully and often we said "We strive to be an A star student next month" just help me to see that all of us desired to be the faithful child of God. As I deepened my relationship with God, there are many things opened before me. I felt very very stressful actually because it often shed light on our sinful nature and I just felt it was too hard to go on. Funny I was even blaming God - "Why on earth You show me this?!" The more i read the more despressed I get. At a point of time I just felt everything was meaningless. MEANINGLESS

If you asked me how did I ever overcome all this depressing emotions, I learned to pray. I am still not perfect even now. But at least somehow in the midst of all these prayers, I know God is talking to me heart to heart talk. Just like how He talked to the Abraham. Moses. King David. I felt scared and assured at the same time. I know I need Him even more in all these transitions in my life that is going on non stop behind me. I got to learn and trust in Him to ask him to guide me.

1 Timothy 4
Instructions to Timothy

1The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. 2Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. 3They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. 4For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, 5because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer. 6If you point these things out to the brothers, you will be a good minister of Christ Jesus, brought up in the truths of the faith and of the good teaching that you have followed. 7Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. 8For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. 9This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance 10(and for this we labor and strive), that we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe. 11Command and teach these things. 12Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. 13Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. 14Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you. 15Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. 16Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.

25 years old. This seem to be a magical number beside 21 years old. It just striked me that I am in my mid-twenties. Will I grow and aged gracefully and maturely and lead a life that is God will be proud of? How many more years do I have now? How many sets of 25 can I go through? At least 2? What will happen in the next 25 years? What will happen in the next 50 years? No one can answer that question except God, I suppose :)

Never expect my 25 is quite an emotional one and filled with much anxiety and thoughts. In a positive direction I prayed, that my next 25 years to come, is a life that is pleasing to God.

Wondering - will i still be blogging at age 50? That will be an achievement then. :P

Blessed Birthday to Me :)