Tuesday, December 06, 2005

I am feeling quite moody and depressed. The problem is I am not sure exactly what is the problem. I did a character analysis test on the Taylor-Johnson personality test. Some of the results I could remember off hand was:

Nervous - Extremely High
Light Hearted - Normal
Inhibited - Extremely High
Submissive - Normal
Subjective - Extremely High
Hostile - Somewhere High
Impulsive - Somewhere High
Self discipline- Somewhere low not too low

Pastor reminded me that i need to deepen my spiritual life and walk more closely to God, holding on to God's word. The result of not sharing my burdens (inhibited) and will add more tension to myself results in breakdown. On the other hand he see i can be light hearted as well ...but it could be a surface or a mask to cover myself. He encouraged me to share more and trust in Him. Learning to surrender to God will help me see things in a better light. Perhaps also i see that due to my lousy self discipline i tend to do things at the last min (which is very true) that also caused me to be so nervous and stressed up at the last minute and becoming very hostile and impulsive! =( I really need to lighten up and be more discipline.

Sometime I don't know what wrong with my family members. One moment they can be so supportive and one moment they can be so mean! I find it so hard to share with them my work and my dreams. Because they never seem to understand and when the matters became worse if i never shared they start to become very imaginative and think that what i am doing is a complete waste of time. My studies will commence next year and for no reason my mom kept thinking whether is a good thing to study Part time. She fear that my future is going to doom!!!

It looked liked that I have to get them sit down, cook them a nice meal + coffee and talk to them nicely and get my message across this time.

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