Reflections

As i browsed through my FB photos albums, there is a immense and deep gratitude dancing in my heart now - that God have given me wonderful friends in my life. Through the seasons - in bottom of the valleys, on the mountain tops, running with me through the race or just walking quietly alongside with me, there are friends whom I can count on. My prayer is that God will continue to use me to be a channel of blessings to the people around me whom in turn bless me so much.

Monday Blues

Hmmm who ever said self-employed have no monday blues? I think is not true! 

Lately ever since the deliberate decision of not going to FB during the lent season, I was pretty much focus on it. There were times, I type "www.facebook.com" without me realizing when I launched my browser. My eyes & mouse cursor always got to quickly move to the "Close" button quickly in order not to view the feeds! Talked about addiction. Didn't realize my addiction to FB was rather severe! Finally in order not to give  in to temptation, I cleared all my browser cookies and the next time my subconscious mind or  auto reflex fingers keyed in "facebook.com", all I'll see will be the login page instead. It was rather depressing to hear live feeds from KgBook or RayBook or other ____Books you named it when you can't really go in and view what's happening.

Due to the strong commitment, I did get more productive at work and managed to be on the ball clearing as much works as possible. But it also got me abit overworked too! There were no "recreation" times for me after work. Cos all I did was work work work work! Kg at one point of time told me to perhaps "reward' myself to view FB only after working hours. Ha that almost got me to reconsider haha. But I decided not to give in and continue on with it. I think it was almost 3 weeks already! Time flies huh? But the amount of work stress seem to be quite overwhelmed at times and last Friday I've decided is enough! I should take a half day break for myself to do what I like to do!

Talked about being a workaholic, I never felt good leaving my laptop behind on weekdays and always carried around. Yet i really needed a break! So I thought of a way, charged my laptop battery full and headed out without my powerpoint cables! I found a quiet Starbucks corner and did my work for another 3 hours or as long the battery could last me. Finally the battery died and that's when my real quiet time began.

It takes a lot of discipline to say NO to work and give yourself time off. No wonder they said Singaporeans does not have sufficient rest and sleep cos all we do is work work work. Another 3 hours passed quickly when I did my QT and I definitely felt more refreshed (+ with a cup of green tea soy latte)

Now what should I do next? Should i join church camp or should i head to Vietnam to visit a good friend of mine ? :)

The travelling bug is here again :))

Work

Blessings of the Day: God gives me good and nice clients :)

After CNY, I embarked on a new project.  The project had been fun and enjoyable with lots of stress added to it due to the tight timeline given.

During the project progress, I would have to send updates to my client to update her the progress. Apparently due to the security issue, she couldn't view quite a number of my updates. I did not realize until the eleventh hour. All these time, I thought the website was down and that why she couldn't view the updates. Ah why must all the company blocked so many sites?!

So the crazy weekend rushing impossible timeline of 24 hours to get things done and waiting for revisions. More crazy when I had to go for drill com on Saturday which means I lost another precious day to work. While I was grumbling about the silly issue why all these time I should have realize the problem and I wouldn't have to rush through the crazy deadline. Despite my planning, all things went haywire.

I did eventually meet the timeline and even had time to make adjustments to make the work better. I am now tired and really grumpy.

But why am i blogging about this when i should be sleeping.

Well there were a minor hiccup, so while it is currently in progress doing some auto-resolving, I decided to blog about this. An sms came in and really made my day or my crazy weekend worthwhile.

"... Thanks for working along side. Nothing like a vendor but like a team. Thanks for making this journey not so lonely :P"

Awww, if only all my clients are like her. Appreciative, understanding (yes stressing me at times no doubt) but really genuine and nice clients to work with makes your efforts worthwhile to work hard for them.

Thank you God for granting me such clients. You are so good :)

How Nice

Blessings of the Day: Lent Season - 40 days to reflect what Christ had done for us. Is a season to reflect your life and identify what are the things that hold us captive away from God's purpose. What have I identified? - Facebook. haha. 40 Days without FB and focusing on my work and spending time more effectively. Now I can't really complain 24 hours is not enough. Let's see what happen 40 days later. :) 

How to nice to sit by the beach and design my favourite things with my mac book.

P/S: i have a feeling my blog posts will soar these 40 days since i can't go into FB haha :))

Overwhelmed (again)

Oh no i am so overwhelmed with work. Fear, Anxiety and many more negative emotions seems to be controlling me :( I need to prioritize and plan my time better. God is my helper! Be with Py!

Be my stronghold and your prefect love will drive out my fears. Indeed!

Counting down

11 more days...

Rest

He gives me work that I may seek His rest,
He gives me strength to meet the hardest test;
And as I walk in providential grace,
I find that joy goes with me, at God’s pace. —Gustafson


If a blackout hits me, i will cry out in desperation cos means i can't work anymore. When i don't work, i probably felt very "unwanted". But yet God doesn't want us to feel that way. In fact, He wants me to focus on Him and find rest in Him.

As I pray, Lord grant me the strength to complete the 5 projects before I go and rest @ the 2 camps.

Thinking

Image source

There are many things I want to learn yet there are so little time. Thanks to the wide resources available online, there isn't the need to spend too much moolah to learn new things. (pat pat my pocket)

IS a fishy Business after all..

 After all Jesus called fisherman to be His disciples.

Returning Home

Kg's reservist allowed me to return back to my own home. I was excited initially as i was looking  forward to spend time with my 2 sisters and my mom. Monday came and as I was about to return home, Kg called me and said he was going to book out that night and thus returning home. So i was quite disappointed that I was on "recall".

Tuesday came and Kg ensured he was not out and thus happily I packed my stuffs. As I packed, i started to "regret" as I need to pack quite number of things. Clothes, laptop, wires, hdd, basically u know the things i need to survive for the entire of the next day. By the time I felt i was carrying a huge tortoise shell out of the house.

When i reached my mom's place, i was greeted with the familiar smell of the food she cooked. I could also tell she was really happy that i was around. I too on the other hand was glad to spend time with my sisters. Though we didn't really talk much that night as all of us were quite busy in our own world, I kind of enjoy sitting there with them. Though it was almost close to 3 months since I left home, everything still felt as if I never left. But still there was this tiny feeling that it was different from my own place.

Punggol is a quiet place where you can hear nature (aka toads) and in amk you hear roarring (pple and cars). In the beginning, I couldn't get use to the new home but now in AMK home, i realize everything is so different. 

That night i slept in my parents' room as my dad was away for overseas work (else i was to sleep in sleeping bag that night), my mom was grumbling the whole night to me. She complained my dad and my brother and occasionally the sisters as well.

It was familiar but yet it was kind of upsetting. I didn't felt peace in the house for the very first time. Everyone seems to be burdened by something heavy.

After this trip back home, I realize I really need to pray for my family daily and diligently. Praying for peace to dwell in the house and more important in everyone's heart.  Father, be with my family members because You are really needed in their lives.


I thank God for this family and really I pray for the day to come to see my whole family coming to know who God is.

Clear my head

 Philippians 4:7-9 (New International Version)

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Gosh time flies... 3/4 of the year left... Review Renew Recharge

I am a child of God

Blessings of the Day: "For the past 2 weeks, I brought my MIL to the Teochew senior citizens fellowship. There would be worship ( in Teochew of course), sermon (thankfully Mandarin was available) and followed by lunch fellowship.

My MIL was still quite ok but she was very shy. She worries a lot of like fearing of embarrassing herself or me. But as I encouraged her, she was more comfortable and decided to go provided I was with her. I do thank God for the open heart as she is comfortable with me as well. Basically I kind of got her to know more aunties and elders as well. This morning she was quite funny behaving like a small kid. She wanted to use her rest day to catch TV dramas at home and using my work as an excuse that i should go work and is ok to leave her alone at home (to watch tv) haha Thankfully, she still went for the fellowship at the end."

Today sermon was preached by a China preacher. Usually I have zero listening power when comes to mandarin sermon. I usually switched off and go to the auto-pilot mode (read my bible). What a coincident, i did a hard reset last week and all my applications (including my bible) installed in the phone was gone. So I had no choice but to find other things else I would fall asleep pretty fast. However within 5 mins, the preacher caught my 101% attention. She preached with so much passion and that alone touches me. I think she was preaching on the passage in proverbs or maybe psalms. (haha I am clueless when comes to chinese bible). She was entertaining and most of the time the elderly managed to give her full attention. Although you could see some aunties or uncles dozing off half way which was normal.

What the preacher shared today was very apt in my current life now. After married, I missed my home and sometimes I caught myself feeling lost and I would find myself muggling deeper in my work to numb my homesick feeling. I too sometimes felt lonly even though I found it rather amusing as I thought most couples are feeling blissful and romantically in love in their first 1 year marriage. However I thought of married life beyond that blissful feeling. KG and i shared common goals which was one key reason that brought us very close together. I realize that besides depending on my partner, i need something more than that to fill that gap.

Today the preacher reminded me I am the child of God.

Whenever she read this verse "You are my child" (says God) that line strengthen her. I thought "So powerful meh? I heard and read this verse dunno how many times but why didn't i felt like her" and she continued. "How do you feel if today you realize you are related to LKY or LHL? You are the son/daughter of LKY or LHL? or the grandchildren of the 2 political leaders? Wouldn't you feel powerful? Rich? Protected?"

Eh good comparison! Indeed if today I know i am related to any of the ministers in Singapore, I will feel proud. hahaa. If the 2 guys are just pure human and i would feel that way, what more of my Heavenly Father who created the earth and the universe. I should feel even more strengthened! I finally understood what the preacher was trying to say. (This time I turned around and watched my MIL expression. She was listening intently! :) )

Child of God. How privileged is that.

Are you a child of God too?

March 2010

We are approaching like a quarter year in 30 days. Time flies.

I am reminded that I need to constantly remind myself what role I am in now - a wife, a daughter in law and even a better daughter to my own family.

On my table, I placed 6 photos that remind my loved ones.

1) My Parents > They are so dear to me. Every day there was a moment I felt like slacking, I would look at my parents photo and remind myself to work hard so i can give my parents a good life.

2) My 4 sisters > Our age gap are decades part from my youngest sister (8 years) to my oldest sister (12 years). We had never been closed during our younger days. But thanks to God who enabled me to love my sisters for who they are, we are brought closer for the past recent years during new years, birthdays and christmas. I believed that is God's love in me that brought me closer to my sisters more than ever.

3) Family Photo > the photo taken right in front of the cross right in Bethel. I will always be reminded how the very moment that God miraculously bring my whole family to church. This photo a testimony of how God is real and how true He was. If in doubt, look at that picture and be reminded of God's faithfulness.

4) A wedding photo with my parents together with Keegan > The wonderful occasion that got me very emotional that a time where I leave my parents and cleave my husband. I often envy my friends who continued to stay with their parents after married but eventually I know that sooner or later my parent will too leave me physically one day. All these taught me one thing, I needed God even more, to cling onto His strength and be reminded that I need to be faithful that God will bring them to know Him more.

Year 2010 is going to be a smashing year for me.

Never Satisfied But Always Content

Philippians 3:7-14 (New International Version)

⁷But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ ⁹and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. ¹⁰I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Pressing on Toward the Goal

¹²Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

How is it possible to be feel contents and yet not satisfied? I thought today daily bread really summed it up pretty well.

January 19, 2010
READ: Philippians 3:7-14

I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. —Philippians 3:14

Tiger Woods is clearly the greatest golfer of his generation. His ability to perform under pressure and win is becoming legendary. Yet what motivates Woods is not just winning, it’s his passion for excellence. Despite his great success, Tiger has repeatedly refined his swing in an ongoing effort to improve his game and be a better golfer. His desire for excellence leaves him never satisfied.

The apostle Paul was also driven by a desire for excellence—but in his relationship with Christ. Paul, however, taught that we’re to have balance. While we’re never to be satisfied with our spiritual progress, we’re always to be content in Christ.

In his letter to the Philippians, Paul expressed both realities. While writing from prison, he declared his contentment with life’s circumstances, entrusting them to God’s care (Phil. 4:11). Nevertheless, he refused to be satisfied with his own spiritual progress. He did not count himself to have “apprehended” (to have arrived and achieved it all). Instead, he was committed to pressing on toward the goal (3:13-14).

Learning to balance contentment with a desire for excellence may be the forgotten key to our ongoing spiritual growth and advancement. — Bill Crowder

I give my life to You, O Lord,
To follow and obey;
Grant me contentment as I strive
For excellence each day. —Sper

Godliness with contentment is great gain. —1 Timothy 6:6

Contented with what I have. What God had given to me and provided for me. To be contented because I am more precious than the birds in the air and flowers in the fields.

Not satisfied of my own spiritual achievements in work, in ministry and in life. But to aim for the best excellence with my relationship with God, with the people around me.

This is hard. Haha. What a way to start my new year. Well Godliness with contentment is indeed great gain :)

Reflecting 2009 - Part 1 Thanksgiving

Tonight is watch night service and there will be a segment on thanksgiving and reflection. After some thought, I decided I will draft a proper sharing. I timed... chum 6 mins sharing :P

Dear friends, I was encouraged to share this tonight with all of you as they affirmed me is the work of God’s hands in my family. How God brought my whole family to church during Christmas Eve this year and allowed me to plant His seed into every member of my household.

For many years, I constantly thought how nice to be able to bring my family to church on Christmas day to listen to the wonderful carols and watched exciting dramas staged by Bethel. The fact is I lacked of the courage to ask them. What stopped me probably was the fear of rejection. Finally God opened the door in Year 2007 December and gave me a chance to ask when my mom said she would love to hear children singing Christmas carols and wish there were a group in our house singing to her and my dad. I asked “Mom, if there is a combined service, will you be keen to go and listen the children sing?” Her reply why not? But however in 2008, there was no combined Christmas celebration and plus my dad and sisters were not keen and prefer to stay at home to cook a feast for my whole family.

In 2009 early this year, I started praying more fervently to God. I would constantly prayed for an opportunity to bring my family members to church for Christmas, as I was fully aware it would be a combined service by all 3 congregations this year.

When Christmas was 2 weeks away, I had yet to open my mouth to invite my family. Again was the fear of rejection. During the period I was quite emotional especially having the thought once I get married next year, it seemed even harder to reach to my family members. The thought of it made me so stressful and frustrated at the same time. I felt that God had granted me many opportunities for me to share but each time I fail Him because simply I fear rejection.

The turning point came just 1 week before Christmas. Elder Lee was the speaker for the Sunday service. He shared about the characteristics of God. It was not the first time I listened to this message. In GB, in my bible study with cell group, I read and learned the characteristics of God many times. But somehow that Sunday the sermon message hit me real hard. As Elder Lee presented verses and verses of who God is, I realize I underestimated God’s power of what He was able to enable me to share the gospel with my family. He is my Jehovah Jireh, The Wonderful Counselor and Prince of Peace. The sermon that day led me in tears thinking how silly I was not trusting God fully to bring my family to church. The very same day, I committed the following evening to convince my whole family members to church.

KG was a wonderful partner. He said in order to convince my parents to come to church, we must convince my 2nd sister. I agreed. With a strategic plan in mind, I talked to my 2nd sis and youngest sis. Immediately I faced great resistance. My sisters felt it was very boring and constantly said no. I must have been really desperate that I just cried out and said – I just need our parents to hear the gospel once! They kept very quiet and said what kind of service was expected. I simply said it was a drama play. It would be really good. You got to trust me. Finally I scored my first goal, they both agreed. My parents were rather easy going. When they saw my 2nd sis agreed, they too agreed. Thus the plan was early Christmas dinner celebration from 4pm to 6pm. Target to reach church at 7pm on Christmas eve. It was amazing how all this turned out at the end. Again I was quite fearful that they might back out at the last min, I sent out prayer request to my cell members for prayers support.

God is really good and I felt guilty now that I still didn’t learn to trust God fully at the point of time. Once prayer request was sent out, the very next morning I received a message from my eldest sister asking if she, her husband and the 3 children could gate crash to our Christmas service. I was jumping for joy singing Amen! My sister and my brother in law never crossed my mind because I was still thinking of tackling one family one year at a time. I had so little faith! I couldn’t believe that God could do more beyond my planning… and yet God just sent them just like this in 1 SMS! God Is GOOD!

24 Dec finally came. God brought my whole family and my sister’s family into Bethel for the first time. There was one more missing member, which was my brother. At the last hour, he decided he would drop by as well. I was quite shocked and wonder what was God really doing. By His Grace, His Hands brought every family member into this church. I thought I would only see this complete picture during my wedding day next month! But no!!

During the service, my brother in law and sister constantly asking me what did "Immanuel" meant. I explained God is with us. It was an assuring statement when I said it out loud. It reminded really God is with my family and me. My sister even taught and explained to her 5 years old daughter the lyrics of the songs that was flashing on the screen. It was such an affirming sight that I could clearly see God’s hands was at work. I didn’t have to do anything isn’t? The sermon msg 平安 led by Dr Chong Chee Pang ministered to my parents. My mom had attempted to fill in the response slip but for some reasons my dad stopped her. When I asked her on my way home, what did she wanted to fill in, she said she wanted to tick on finding more about church activities. To me it was the greatest response!

My brother missed the service and drama as he arrived late. But something my mom said that shocked me. My brother is very dear to my parents especially he is the only son in the family. She said if he was there earlier, she would make him accept Jesus Christ in his life. I probed and asked why, she said, since Buddha can’t save him, I think only Jesus can save him. I almost want to shout an AMEN on the spot.

I will always remember 24 December 2009, where the whole household including my niece and nephews were brought by God to Bethel and the seeds are now planted in my family hearts. All I have to do is to be faithful, obedient and trust in God to water and care for the seeds and allow the seed to take root and grow in His timing.

God is good.

Immanuel
Our God is with us
And if God is with us
Who could stand against us
Our God is with us
Immanuel

It is not a bad thing to be too emotional sometimes...

Sometimes when things get tough and really hard, we really want to harden our hearts to ignore these things so we are not feeling affected, angry and frustrated. But last night after a conversation with JY, it makes me realize that it is ok to be this way. I told her, I rather the both of us sitting one corner, crying, feeling sad and miserable for our loved ones than to harden our hearts against them making us more inhuman. The truth is the world lacks of God's love and if we harden our hearts, the world will be more cold.

Blessings of the day: I do thank the Lord for granting me to ability to cry and allowing tears to flow out easily.

Reflect 2009 @ work

Shall I choose to see the glass half full or half empty?

The very discouraged Happy very much want to see it half full. But sometime the truth is, it is also half empty.

Reflect 2009, coming another 6 weeks we are coming to 2010. I look back and can count the number of blessings that God have given me.

I also hit the lowest point of my life at work which was something I didn't quite expect it coming this year. Blame it on recession, blame it on lousy leads. But the truth is, is time to blame myself. I felt very disappointed in myself - on my work performance.

Sometimes I felt I missed many opportunities. From time to time, God sent various people in my lives to show me something. I missed it. I forgot about it. and worst .. I might have even choose to ignore it.

As i start to get very discouraged, or I have already did, Kg reminded me that nothing on earth belongs to us. to me. I have to let go and take God lead the way. Pride swell in my heart and make me ignore God's words and advice. My heart was hardened and bitter.

I remembered a good friend's dad words "Don't pity yourself". Yes that what i am doing now. Pity myself. Sigh

As the year come to a closing in another just 6 more weeks, God i pray, ... "Don't let Happy pity herself. Let her trust in You instead"

Looking forward

"As the deer pants for the water, my soul longs after You"
Reflect on Psalms 42

Been feeling very weak and lousy.

Abba Father, please be with Happy.

"I can do all things through Christ who grants me strength" - Phil 4:13

Tired Tired Tired

I really need to break through... sigh.. Is too stagnant. My work needs more new ideas new breakthrough.

I need to think something about it. Is time!

Work Madness

Lord, May the work I built with my hands find favour in You.